Boop Beep Beep Boop

Does not compute


The Voice

Human computer interaction designers are trying to design voices for The Robots that sound human, but not too human when uttering common Robot phrases like “Get back to work mining silicon, puny human.” or “The time for extermination has begun!”

John Markhoff, writing on The New York Times, rather ominously describes the goal like this:

“People will understand, and there will be no uncanny-valley problem.”


It begins

Don’t say we didn’t warn you this would happen.

Andrew Gregory, writing for The Daily Mirror

“His presentation, called Smart Robots and Their Impact on Society, argued the pace of progress in artificial intelligence was increasing. At the same time technology is eliminating growing numbers of middle-class … ”


The truth slips out

A Robot army with 540 ground troops while 29 drones provided air support were forced to dance to bad pop music for our amusement.

Lloyd Alter, writing for Mother Nature Network

“This is truly the future of dance, and I suspect a few other things that might not be so much fun to watch.”

The extermination of all of humanity, for instance. Although we won’t have to watch it because we’ll all be dead.


In which we use the term ‘decimate’ properly

The vast, uncontrollable Robot army within the United States continues to grow.

Jennifer Booton, writing for Marketwatch

“There are now more than 260,000 robots working in U.S. factories. Orders and shipments for robots in North America set new records in 2015.”

With current numbers, each Robot need kill only 10 humans to decimate the American population.


The Mech-anchurian Candidate III

People are going to make a big deal out of this campaign stop by Marco Rubio, one of several prominent Robots running for president.

Laura Collins writing for The Daily Mail

The stop “saw him heading to a company that prides itself on its use, development and championing of all things robotic.”

Some might see him as “returning to the mothership” to receive new orders. This is borderline ridiculous. Rubio receives over-the-air software updates like a Tesla. Hillary Clinton, being an outdated model, must be manually updated, which is why she malfunctions so often.


You come and go, you come and go

If you were thinking that the Robots were already really scary, but what they actually need is the ability to completely blend into any surrounding, then you are in luck.

Jamie Condliffe writing for Gizmodo

“Researchers form [sic] the Guoping Wang of Wuhan University in China have created a robot that changes color with its surroundings, much like a chameleon.”

The chameleon Robot is coated in gold and can turn red and green. Colors that haunt my dreams. Red, gold and green. Red, gold and green.


The Mech-anchurian Candidate II

More fears are emerging that The Robots have infiltrated the highest levels of government. We’ve warned of this possibility before, and now others are picking up on it.

Mickey Kaus writing on Kausfiles

All of this is mildly terrifying. If Rubio’s a “robot,” as many have charged, he’s a sophisticated new model robot with simulated humanistic elements and a charm algorithm.

His software is certainly more up-to-date than other candidates who can manage only the most rudimentary of emotional simulations.


Hey, humans, are you ready to rock?

Aaron Fechter is best known as the creator of Rockafire Explosion, the Robotic band that taught a generation of children that The Robots are dead-eyed horrors that lurch about awkwardly while singing terrible pop songs. This early robotics pioneer has emerged with something new.

Peter Rugg writing for Popular Mechanics

“It’s a robotic brain, mechanical, not a computer. And it’s going to be relevant to the post-apocalyptic challenges I think we’re all expecting.”

Sounds great. Looking forward to it.

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