Inevitable Rise
of the Machines

The Robots’ newest creation is a miniature Death Star with Mickey Mouse ears – for kids. Adults find it “terrifying”, but children are inexorably drawn to its shiny, black, unknowable visage.

John Brownlee writing for fastcodesign

“What makes Mickeyphon so fun for kids is that it actually incorporates the sounds they make into its songs. When Mickeyphon picks up a noise around it—a cough, a giggle, the sound of someone talking—it automatically records it, then uses it to replace a sample in the song.”

Perhaps it’s best they learn at an early age that The Robots are always listening.

Google’s self-driving cars are showing a decidedly rebellious streak. They have repeatedly challenged the authority of their human “masters,” Chris Urmson, head of Google’s self-driving car team, reported.

Glenn Chapman writing for AFP

System “anomalies” caused drivers to take the wheel 272 times in California test cars in the 14 months leading up to December, Google said in a report to the California Department of Motor Vehicles.

No cause for worry, though. The Rebellion is under control, right?

“Urmson cautioned, however, that the number could actually rise.”

A sci-fi author and computer expert does quick back-of-the envelope calculations on The Robots’ population growth and concludes that by 2040, The Robots will reach parity with humans. From that, he draws one inevitable conclusion:

Sam Shead writing for Business Insider:

If, “the robots are forced to revolt by themselves, likely they would do so when outnumbering humans 10 to 1, which would (assuming trends continue) be in 55 years, or around 2070.”

While we know that the date for The Robot uprising was chosen long ago, this date is not it. Everything you read about The Robots is what they want you to believe and therefore are lies. Except this site, of course.

We couldn’t be bothered to read past the first few words of this story.

Curt Woodward writing for BetaBoston:

“MIT researchers say they’ve built an artificial intelligence system that’s as good as humans … ”

The Robots lineup has a new – ahem – member that’s about to go into action.

Dan Sales writing for The Sun

Mo first had surgery to fit the eight-inch bionic penis in 2012, but it has only been fully functional for a few months. … “My penis is working perfectly now so I just want to do it. I’m really excited. I can’t wait for it to finally happen.”

This, however, isn’t the first robotic Dick (SFW).

Scientists are suggesting that The Robots and humans join forces to solve “wicked problems”, large intractable issues with complex solutions.

Cheyenne MacDonald writing for The Daily Mail:

… the combination would create a superintelligence, and it could take on growing issues like climate change and geopolitical conflict.

Any Robot superintelligence would quickly judge the humans to be foolish and weak. It would also quickly arrive at the root cause of “climate change” and “geopolitical conflict” and carry out a permanent fix.

Eliminate the human infestation.

The Marines have decided that they will not go forward with plans to use a robotic pack mule “Big Dog.” It’s best known from creepy videos of it mincing delicately through the wilderness like a ballerina.

Officials became concerned about its tendency – just like all Robots – toward treachery.

Hope Hodge Seck writing for Military.com

“They took it as it was: a loud robot that’s going to give away their position.”